Home > divorce, paternity/child custody, personal > Why I’m Glad I’m Not in Private Practice Anymore

Why I’m Glad I’m Not in Private Practice Anymore

I was at the post office in my very small town this afternoon, waiting my turn in line, and listening in on the conversation of the people who were just ahead of me and the clerk who was helping them.  The husband had a letter he was sending, certified, and he wanted to get it where it was going as quickly as possible.  Which because we can’t do overnight delivery from Small Town, Utah, will be Friday via priority mail.  And he was sending it certified.

It was obvious that he was sending it to an ex-wife, the mother of his children.  He didn’t want her to be able to see who the mailing was from before she signed for it, because he was afraid she’d refuse it.  His current wife was also joining in on the conversation–noting that the ex was due for learning a lesson about how the whole world doesn’t revolve around her, and that the way the ex was teaching her children to behave (by her bad example) was tantamount to child abuse.  Husband then pipes up about how he’s still responsible for her house payment, even though they’ve been divorced a long while, and how the ex was supposed to get the mortgage out of his name, but she doesn’t do anything and hasn’t taken care of it yet, and he can’t afford to pay two mortgages…  Then sadness about how the town his ex lives in, that he used to live in, is a mining town, and 3 years ago he and 400 others were laid off from the mines 4 days after Christmas, and he’d been behind on the house payment ever since.

...because pictures of actual skin v. belt sander encounters were really too gross to post.

…because pictures of actual skin v. belt sander encounters were really too gross to post.

Sadness and misery.  Broken hearts, broken families, trying to start again, vitriolic exes…. I used to be up to my eyebrows in that every day of my life.  Because even on Saturdays and Sundays, my clients’ miseries haunted me.  In part because I was one of them, trying to deal with an ex, and suffering the hurts that come from having life not go the way  it was “supposed to.”  I am one of those people who cry at a really touching refrigerator commercial.  I feel way way WAY too much of the other person’s pain.  And quite frankly, being involved in divorce and child custody and child support and parent time fights was like being chewed up by a belt sander All. The. Damn. Time.

I am deeply grateful for being able to leave family law behind as a full time practice.  I am still swimming in the sea of divorces and child custody…I’m divorced, and I’m married to a man who is also divorced, and we have our respective exes and children (though my situation is MUCH better than his at this point–only took 10 years to get that way.)  However, I no longer have to depend on clients who are as broke as I am for my livelihood.  A huge load of stress has been lifted from my shoulders knowing that I WILL get paid every other week, by direct deposit, and I can plan a budget and stay caught up with my bills month to month.

I am no longer trying to make a living from other people’s pain.  And there is a lot of comfort in that.


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