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We’re Open!
I know it’s been a very long time since I posted an article. It’s been a VERY busy year for me! I’ve relocated to Wyoming, and am licensed here as well as staying licensed in Utah. I’m also working on my application to the Idaho Bar, so (fingers crossed) I can add that to my credentials soon.
And I am now taking new cases. I’m doing GAL work as well as domestic and a smattering of other civil law in Wyoming, and am available to take domestic and minor criminal cases in Box Elder, Cache, and Rich counties in Utah. I’m excited to learn new courts and new law (and there IS new domestic law in Utah! Stay tuned for THAT information.)
It’s been a very chaotic several months, but I’m finally settled enough to help YOU get resolution in your legal case. You can contact me at marca.tanner@gmail.com, or through the comments section on any blog post.
Cheers to new starts and new hope!
It's the End of the World As We Know It…
*Updates to the courts procedure while we’re going through this COVID-19 thing can be found at this link, which is to the Utah Courts webpage for updates.
Ok, so not really. It IS the end of the world as we know it for at least a few weeks to months. I’m avoiding Facebook, etc., myself, because I had been before (depression + Facebook=kill me now, most of the time) but it’s even worse now. My family is basically prepared. When the store shelves cleared immediately of toilet paper and water, I had a dozen and a half or so rolls, and kept wondering who these weird people were who thought a pandemic was the equivalent of an earthquake, and that our city water would suddenly become contaminated and undrinkable.
That’s not how pandemics work, ya’ll. That’s how earthquakes work (which as a sidenote, actually happened this morning early in the Salt Lake Valley, so maybe those folks are glad they bought up all the water…more about THAT here.).
Anyway. The beauty of my job is that I really CAN do it anywhere there’s an internet connection, and on Monday, I dragged my desktop home from my day job, and got myself set up to work from home for the next few weeks. I love working from home. As an anxious depressive, getting out of bed in the morning is excruciating, especially knowing I’ll have to, like, put on pants and makeup and not look like a slob and stuff. These past couple of days, I have literally dragged myself out of bed, put on my bathrobe, and sat down at my computer at 8am. No makeup required. No pants required. That’s straight up perfection, my friends.
It’s also really fantastic that most of us really DO have technology literally at our fingertips that allows for all kinds of communication without having to be WITH anyone. My smartphone has face to face calling (Facetime because it’s an Apple, but Skype and Facebook Messenger do the same thing). I can text if I don’t feel like talking. I can receive and send email from my phone as well. And so can 95% of the world’s population (that’s totally a guess. I have no data to support that percentage.)
The population that I’M speaking to now, though, you folks in Utah, you who are scared or confused about the legal system, who are afraid to leave your homes, but afraid to not be able to leave your homes, I’m still here for you. I’ve been doing a lot of family law legal consulting. For those who would qualify for CAPSA’s services, I do it for free. For those of you who actually CAN pay some legal fees, I charge $75/hr, which I can take through Venmo or Paypal or Square on a credit card. You CAN still talk to a lawyer–I can Facetime/etc with you. Or you can email.
The point here is this: Don’t feel like you’re stuck in a situation that you don’t want to be in because you don’t have access to any legal counsel. I’m available virtually by appointment (which you can make by emailing me–see my About tab at the top of this page). Or you can just email if you have a specific question. A lot of your FAQ’s are already answered on my blog here…just go to the “search” box at the top right of the page, and type in a keyword you need info on, and everything I’ve written about that topic will come up. Hell, if push came to shove, the courts are still open, and I can e-file any case documents for a legal case I’m working on, without having to leave my home office. (I actually HAVE completed entire cases without ever traveling to a courthouse.)
So keep that in mind. Don’t panic. It may be the End of the World as We Know It, but You Can Still Feel Fine ;).
Just so you know…
If you are the victim of sexual assault, and you have the courage to go to a hospital and ask to have a rape kit collected, PLEASE know that law enforcement will be more concerned with the fact that you are a victim of a horrible violent crime, and NOT with the fact that you’re under 21 and have alcohol in your system. Or that you’re in a state where pot is illegal (or you don’t have a green card) and you have marijuana show up in your system. Yes, the hospital may tell the police you tested positive for some illegal substances, but it is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT to get a rapist prosecuted than it is for the police to hassle you over so much less terrible things!
…and if you’re in Western Wyoming, and you DO get charged with one of these minor things after you’ve been tough enough to do the super difficult, invasive, important thing of getting a rape kit taken and reporting a rapist to law enforcement, get ahold of me. I’ll represent you in your justice court case for free. Because it is important enough to ME that you do what you need to to get a rapist off the street.
Don’t think this is just a women’s issue either. Men are also victims of sexual assault, though they report less often than women.
And just in case you were wondering, there is no statute of limitations in Wyoming or Utah on rape. Here’s a little more info on that. Keep in mind, though, that it’s much harder to prove in court that a rape occurred if you wait too long. (In Idaho, depending on how “rape” defined, there is either no statute of limitations, or you have 5 years from the date of the commission of the crime.)
Be brave. You’re not alone.
If you or someone you know needs help, call the Rape & Sexual Assault Crisis Line 1-888-421-1100, or you can contact CAPSA in northern Utah/southern Idaho, at 435-753-2500.
Dealing with Debt Collectors: A Peek at the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA)
For the full text of the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act, see the Federal Trade Commission’s (FTC) website.  This is federal law; it applies in whatever state you’re in.
When I got divorced back in 2005 I was essentially starting from less than zero. I had a few credit cards in my name, and I used those to fill in the gaps in my income. Not necessarily the wisest thing ever, but you do what you’ve gotta do when you’re in dire straits. Even after law school I struggled with debt and keeping up; I got my degree after the crash in 2008, and jobs were scarce where I needed to live. I went into private practice working for myself, but getting paid can be very hard if your clients are as broke as you are–and mine mostly were. As a result, I got behind on some of my debts.
I’m not a unique case with that. Lots of people do; and when they do, the debt collectors start coming out of the woodwork. Sometimes the debts are legitimately owed. Sometimes, though, they’re not. So how do you deal with it when they’re not–or even if they are, but you aren’t sure if the amounts are accurate, or what the terms originally were? And what do you do about the incessant calling at all hours of the day and night, or the threatening letters?
He’s outta business…
This is where the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA) comes into play. The FDCPA was enacted to keep debt collectors from engaging in threatening, harassing, abusive practices as they attempted to collect money from people. There are limits to the hours during the day they can call, and if/when they can call you at work, and what their communications can look like. I’ll let you read through the section about communications (§805) yourself; you need to be aware of the rules. I want to get into the part about requiring a collections agency to validate a debt, and what you should be doing when you get collection notices. That’s in §809, Validation of Debts.
You will usually get a notice in the mail that a debt has gone into collections. However, it may not have enough details for you to know exactly what debt they’re talking about, or maybe you didn’t realize the debt was owed. The notice you get MUST tell you that you have the right, within 30 days of getting the initial notice, to write and request evidence of the debt, of the name of the original creditor if the debt has been sold, anything that would support the debt collectors position that you owe money. Your job then is to write them back and request all that information. Language for your letter could look something like this:
“I received a letter from you dated (Month/Day/Year) stating I owe a debt. I AM CONTESTING THAT DEBT. Please send me any evidence you have of the debt, including copies of any contracts signed by me, the identity of the original creditor (if you don’t recognize the entity collecting the debt), and an itemized statement of the amounts you claim I owe. Please cease contacting me regarding this debt until and unless you provide this information.”
The creditor is REQUIRED BY LAW to get you the information you’ve requested about the debt. But what if what they send you STILL doesn’t prove that the debt is one you owe? For example, what if you got divorced a year ago and a creditor is coming after you for a bill your ex incurred after the divorce was final?
I had this happen to a client; this is where you have to get Tenacious.
It’s quite likely that the creditor will provide evidence that a debt is owed. You may be totally aware that there’s an outstanding debt. That is NOT evidence that YOU owe the debt. So you write back again:
“I received the documentation you sent. I AM STILL CONTESTING THIS DEBT. The evidence you provided only shows a debt is owed. It does not show that I owe this debt. Please provide me with a copy of a contract or some other agreement that I signed indicating that I agreed to pay this debt.”
This is what Tenacious looks like…
It doesn’t always get them off your back; sometimes you end up filing complaints with the FTC, the attorney general’s office in your state, the Better Business Bureau…but I’ll tell you this: In my experience, when I have contested a debt that did not belong to me, and got Tenacious, I have not ended up paying it. Ever. The creditor drops it, and they don’t ding my credit. I’m making it hard for them–it’s taking them too much time to go after me. And you know what? It’s not my job to make it easy for a creditor to collect from me when I don’t owe them anything.
They go after the low hanging fruit. I’m not a fruit. Don’t you be either.
Website Translation Tool!!!
So, it’s not a super pretty tool, but it’s pretty effective. I found a website translation tool, so if you know someone who does not speak English, but could use the info on my blog, point them to this new link. I’ve added it to My Links on the right side of this page, like so:
The link is right there, highlighted and circled in the pic, in the My Links section down the right side of the page.
Click on the link, copy and paste the web address into the first field, select your language, click OK, and Voila! My page in Spanish. Or Bulgarian. Or any of a few dozen languages. I have no idea how good the translations are, but something’s better than nothing, no? Here’s hoping…
Useful New Blog I’m Linking To
I came upon a useful new blog today while reading a very interesting article on protective orders and what constitutes violating one in this age of online appearances, social media platforms, and etcetera. (That article is here.) The new blog is called Technology Safety, and there is a link to it on the right side of this page, under My Links. There is a lot of good information there regarding ways to stay safe with all of the new technological advances that make spying on/stalking someone so much easier. Check it out.
Termination of Parental Rights & Guardianship: How & Why
I had opportunity to volunteer last night at a free legal clinic. The beauty of volunteering is that not only do I get to help people, but I also find out where my knowledge of my claimed “specialty” in the law is limited, and then I have something to research to bolster that knowledge. It’s a win-win.
Last night I consulted with a woman on guardianship of a child. Her circumstances are such that she’s in a temporary guardianship situation, but because the child’s mother is not making any efforts to become a fit parent, and there is a constant underlying threat that mom is just going to swoop in and try and take the child home with her to “be the mom”, the woman expressed an interest in a more permanent arrangement. We discussed a few different options, including filing a petition to terminate mom’s rights and then filing for adoption of the child, and a permanent guardianship.
Hopefully this is NOT this kid’s parent…
I am familiar with the statute regarding termination of parental rights, and I’ve read a good chunk of caselaw recently about termination of parental rights, but I could not for the life of me find the statute last night when I was talking to this woman (it’s a little tricky to pull/find/read on a 4 inch iPhone screen, btw.) SO. Today I found it, on a desktop computer. Statute that governs parental rights termination is located at Utah Code Title 78A Chapter 6 Part 5. Any interested party, including a foster parent, can file a petition to terminate rights of a parent (UCA 78A-6-504). Grounds for termination are located at UCA 78A-6-507. You’ll note that only ONE of those grounds have to be shown/proven to terminate rights, which include abandonment of the child. A parent can be found to have abandoned their child if they’ve only had “token” contact or communication with a child. So if mom hasn’t seen a kid in 2 years, and then suddenly shows up and takes him to McD’s, or sends a card with $5 in it, that doesn’t constitute enough contact or support to prevent a court from finding that the parent has abandoned the child.
The statute spells out what needs to be in the petition to terminate, and also states what the process is (serving the parent, timeframes for having a hearing, etc.) at UCA 78A-6-504 and -505. While I’m not finding any forms for terminating someone else’s parental rights (NOT voluntary relinquishment of rights–those forms and information are here), the statute is specific enough that one should be able to put together their own petition and get service of process done without them (or with some limited consulting with an attorney.)
Like I said, I’ve read a raft of caselaw recently regarding the process of terminating someone’s parental rights (here are just a few examples: In re K.W., In re A.J., and In re B.A.). A parent is entitled to a court appointed/state paid for attorney in termination proceedings if they can’t afford to hire a lawyer, but the parent is not required to have a lawyer–meaning, if the parent is offered but refuses counsel, they can’t come back later and say they were deprived of due process. And the courts really do only require the showing of ONE of the statute’s grounds for termination. ONE. Though quite frankly, all the cases I’ve read where the appellate court affirmed the juvenile court’s decision to terminate rights have had a bucketload of grounds that more than justified termination. All that said, the court MUST put into findings of fact actual facts that support the court’s decision to terminate rights….and they can’t be terminated just because a parent doesn’t strictly comply with a DCFS family plan. (For an example/more explanation, see the court case In Re E.A., from May of 2018.)
The whole point behind a parent having rights to their child removed is for the welfare of the child. This is not something to take lightly, but if you’re looking at a situation where a parent is NOT getting their act together, is consistently behaving in ways that make them an unfit parent (see the statute for what those ways legally are), and this behavior is threatening the ongoing stability of their child, terminating rights may be the best thing to do for the sake of that child. Terminating parental rights opens up the child for adoption (which you’d file at the same time as the petition to terminate rights, just to cover your bases–but that’s another blog post.) Adoption generally equals stability, and the chance to grow up better adjusted and more normally. Best interests of the child are key here.
Because family isn’t just about blood…it’s about people who care about each other.
Terminating parental rights is not the only way to get a child in a more secure situation, for the record. I also discussed with the woman last night the possibility of getting a permanent guardianship in place. This is more of a middle ground solution–it’s not legally Permanent–it CAN be undone at some point. When a parent’s rights are terminated, it IS permanent. Even if they voluntarily relinquish their rights. There are no “I changed my mind” options. Guardianship leaves open a way for a parent to get their situation under control, get stable, and eventually, possibly, get their kid back. The Utah Courts website has a lot of info on getting a guardianship put in place, including forms. Have a look-see.
To the woman I spoke with last night: Good on you for caring enough to even look into this. Legal actions are never convenient, and rarely pleasant, but you CAN do what needs to be done to make sure the child you’re caring for is in a stable place. I wish you the best.
It’s Not Just “Being Worried”: Anxiety
I’ve mentioned a few times that I’ve struggled with some mental health issues. I’ve been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, major depressive disorder (MDD), and dysthymia (persistent long-term depression). Mental disorders can be debilitating, especially when you ignore them, pretend they don’t exist, and refuse to address them as you would any other illness. I closed my private law practice in large part because my anxiety had gotten so bad that I was absolutely terrified of checking my email, answering the phone, TALKING to anyone…Getting out of bed was a major accomplishment every day. Was it all in my head? Yeah, just like asthma is all in your lungs, and scoliosis is all in your spine.  
On my better days, I venture the thought of going back into private practice…until the panic hits, and I start getting short of breath just thinking about it. And I AM medicated.
It’s not something that I can fully control, though I have learned to cope a little better. My work now is considerably less stressful, and I’m getting paid regularly (!), something that wasn’t happening when I was in private practice, which alleviates a lot of general life stress. I’m in a much better place.
I’m not the only one who has had their life hijacked by anxiety…Meet Jalen Moore.
I work with Jalen’s mom; my kids were wowed by Jalen’s basketball talent in high school. He’s gonna be just fine, because he’s smart enough to face HIS anxiety head-on, and work toward responsible management of it. And like any illness, any physical problem, accepting that it’s a REAL problem, and not a weakness that reflects badly on one’s character is where you start in getting healthy again.
The upshot is a panic attack can feel like you are dying…Nothing to worry about, right?
For a little musical insight, I give you the Black-Eyed Peas: Anxiety. With the lyrics, so you can see and FEEL a little what this is like.
Fear
As a noun, fear is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” As a verb, to “be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.” Fear can be a huge motivator to either do, or NOT do, a particular thing. Sometimes fear is based in reality; sometimes, just in the perception of reality. Fear can be crippling, can prevent one from taking necessary, reasonable action, or can motivate one to take actions that are unreasonable, dangerous, or out of proportion to the circumstances.
So what does that have to do with the law?
Family law actions are emotional things. While the divvying up of assets, assignment of debts, allocation of custody and parent time, and awards of child support and alimony are black and white things, underlying the entire process is a mess of emotions, largely unpleasant ones. Anger, pain, rage, desperation, panic, despair, sadness, frustration, helplessness, hopelessness….Swirling in with that horrible mix is Fear.
Fear is a huge part of any major life change….fear of the unknown–what happens with my budget when I’m limited to x amount of dollars a month? What happens to my retirement goals when I have to pay out x dollars a month? Why should I have to pay money to this person who is hurting me? When will I get to see my kids? What if my ex makes my kids hate me? How will I pay all the expenses I need to for my kids? What if I can’t pay the rent on this child support/alimony amount? How am I supposed to get a job and take care of my kids at the same time? Who’s gonna hire me??? Is anyone ever gonna want to be with me again????
I would suggest that much of the reason people behave irrationally, do dumb things, say dumb things, try to avoid legal action, or any of the thousands of different ways people end up hurting themselves in family cases is out of fear: “If I avoid the process server, they can’t serve me, and this will all go away.” “He said there’s a warrant out for my arrest if I try and show up to court….I can’t get arrested!”
While legal proceedings can be scary, the best way to deal with them is through Knowledge. Be proactive–don’t wait until the last minute to seek legal advice. If you’re scared about a threat made by the Other, ASK someone who knows or can find out about whether there’s any truth to the threat. If you married a bully, be ready to deal with a bully. Is it scary? Hell YES it is. But avoiding it, hiding, pretending it’s not happening, remaining willfully ignorant will do more to hurt you in the long AND short run than squaring your shoulders and addressing the situation.
Case in point:
I got divorced in 2005. At the time, I’d been a stay at home mom, had 4 kids, the oldest of which were 8 year old twins, and had no money to my own name other than what my husband brought in. My marriage had come apart, and my mental health was deteriorating. I couldn’t stay married and live. And No, I’m not being dramatic when I say that. I was scared to death.
So how did I handle it?
I rolled over and died, in a manner of speaking. My husband hired a lawyer, who drafted an agreement taking everything away from me except for some really minimal bits of Stuff. I didn’t fight to get custody of the kids I’d been primary caretaker of for their entire lives. I didn’t even attempt to stay in my house, or get alimony, or ask for half of the rest of our marital, not-insignificant assets. I signed my husband’s agreement. That became the terms of my divorce, and gave him custody of my kids.
I flat out gave up. Out of paralyzing, crippling Fear. Everything my husband said about how miserable he’d make me if I tried to get even statutory minimums under the law for ANYTHING, I believed. All the little demeaning, demoralizing comments he threw out at me, I believed. I was terrified–terrified of a legal fight, terrified of my kids getting hurt any worse than they already were, terrified of losing my mind before it was all said and done…Terrified. Scared. Panicked.
And so, out of blind, crippling, numbing, paralyzing fear, I gave up. Everything–my kids, my home, any portion of 10 years of marriage…all of it. Without a fight.
Ask me how much I regret that. And when you do, bring tissues, because I’m going to cry my eyes out on you, even though it’s been nearly 13 years since all that happened.
DON’T YOU BE LIKE ME. You be BRAVE. Find your support people. Face your fears, even if you have to face them quietly, by seeking out help online, or at a victim’s crisis center. Get real information. Do a little research. DON’T GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT! For the love of all that is good and holy, I am begging you, do not let fear take your life from you. You can do it. I swear, it’s hard as hell, but you CAN. And you Must.
A final Scene from the story of fear in my life: I am at my Aunt Nancy’s house, curled up on the floor in her bathroom, sobbing out of fear and the misery that came from letting my fear cripple me when it counted most. She is sitting next to me, on the floor, knees pulled up to her chest, her arm around my shoulders. She is saying, “I wish I could poor courage into your spine so you can stand.”
I say to you–Imagine me pouring courage into your spine. Stand up. You may be afraid, but don’t let it control you. You are not alone.
Be Brave.
The Actual Clean Slate: Expunging a Criminal Record (UTAH specific)
(Note: Â This is a UTAH specific article, but there are processes in other states for expunging your criminal record as well. Â Go to your state’s courts website for more information, or contact an attorney.)
While I’m not in private practice anymore, I still do some private representation on the side. Â Little things, ya know? Â Like pro bono misdemeanor defense in justice courts. Â For people’s Wayward Children who aren’t technically children as far as the legal age of majority is concerned. Â The occasional possession of drug paraphernalia, drug possession, speeding way too fast in a construction zone in the middle of the night…you know, things that are done by young adults before their frontal lobes fully develop, and before they have the capacity to use a little better judgment (and remember not to talk to cops!)
These kinds of things can really mess up your life if they’re not handled properly, which is why I do pro bono representation. Â But I also know that these sorts of crimes don’t have to stick with you for the rest of your life, especially once you’ve grown up, are using better judgment, and don’t keep getting in trouble. Â You can wipe this sort of thing away, by getting an expungement. Â This is a legal way of getting your past criminal/arrest history sealed, so that it can’t come up against you when you’re looking for a job, trying to get financial aid at a college or tech school, etc.
The process is described at Title 77, Chapter 40 of the Utah Code, called the Utah Expungement Act. Â The statute says who can get one, and what the process is, but it’s a little hard to follow. Â The Utah courts website, however, has instructions on how to get it done, what you need to do, and links to the Bureau of Criminal Identification (BCI) websites with more info and forms, AND it’s written in plain English (but use this link above to the BCI website, because it goes directly to the expungements info page with links and instructions).
You CANNOT expunge everything, and the BCI page and Utah courts website spell out what all you can’t.  You CAN, however, expunge some sex offenses, just not ones that are “registerable” offenses (a list of registerable offenses is found at U.C.A. 77-4-106).  Check the statute you were convicted under; if it wasn’t one in the list, or if you don’t have to register as a sex offender, you may be able to get that expunged as well.  Definitely worth a look.
A lot of us have done dumb things at different times in our lives. Â That Dumb Thing need not define YOUR life. Â Look into it; BCI was even nice enough to put together a pamphlet with basics on getting an expungement.
And by the way, you don’t need a lawyer to do this, but I’m always happy to answer questions of you have them.
Do it Today.
PTA Mom to Lady Lawyer 