Archive
Parenting After Divorce (AND during marriage!)
Today I read an Opinion piece in the New York Times, and it’s so good, I think it deserves a spot in my blog for ya’ll to read. This article is just about parenting after divorce, but gives some insight into How NOT to Get Divorced. I particularly encourage all those who have an iron grip on what they believe their “rights” are with custody. You might be cutting off your nose to spite your face.
We’re Open!
I know it’s been a very long time since I posted an article. It’s been a VERY busy year for me! I’ve relocated to Wyoming, and am licensed here as well as staying licensed in Utah. I’m also working on my application to the Idaho Bar, so (fingers crossed) I can add that to my credentials soon.
And I am now taking new cases. I’m doing GAL work as well as domestic and a smattering of other civil law in Wyoming, and am available to take domestic and minor criminal cases in Box Elder, Cache, and Rich counties in Utah. I’m excited to learn new courts and new law (and there IS new domestic law in Utah! Stay tuned for THAT information.)
It’s been a very chaotic several months, but I’m finally settled enough to help YOU get resolution in your legal case. You can contact me at marca.tanner@gmail.com, or through the comments section on any blog post.
Cheers to new starts and new hope!
It's the End of the World As We Know It…
*Updates to the courts procedure while we’re going through this COVID-19 thing can be found at this link, which is to the Utah Courts webpage for updates.
Ok, so not really. It IS the end of the world as we know it for at least a few weeks to months. I’m avoiding Facebook, etc., myself, because I had been before (depression + Facebook=kill me now, most of the time) but it’s even worse now. My family is basically prepared. When the store shelves cleared immediately of toilet paper and water, I had a dozen and a half or so rolls, and kept wondering who these weird people were who thought a pandemic was the equivalent of an earthquake, and that our city water would suddenly become contaminated and undrinkable.
That’s not how pandemics work, ya’ll. That’s how earthquakes work (which as a sidenote, actually happened this morning early in the Salt Lake Valley, so maybe those folks are glad they bought up all the water…more about THAT here.).
Anyway. The beauty of my job is that I really CAN do it anywhere there’s an internet connection, and on Monday, I dragged my desktop home from my day job, and got myself set up to work from home for the next few weeks. I love working from home. As an anxious depressive, getting out of bed in the morning is excruciating, especially knowing I’ll have to, like, put on pants and makeup and not look like a slob and stuff. These past couple of days, I have literally dragged myself out of bed, put on my bathrobe, and sat down at my computer at 8am. No makeup required. No pants required. That’s straight up perfection, my friends.
It’s also really fantastic that most of us really DO have technology literally at our fingertips that allows for all kinds of communication without having to be WITH anyone. My smartphone has face to face calling (Facetime because it’s an Apple, but Skype and Facebook Messenger do the same thing). I can text if I don’t feel like talking. I can receive and send email from my phone as well. And so can 95% of the world’s population (that’s totally a guess. I have no data to support that percentage.)
The population that I’M speaking to now, though, you folks in Utah, you who are scared or confused about the legal system, who are afraid to leave your homes, but afraid to not be able to leave your homes, I’m still here for you. I’ve been doing a lot of family law legal consulting. For those who would qualify for CAPSA’s services, I do it for free. For those of you who actually CAN pay some legal fees, I charge $75/hr, which I can take through Venmo or Paypal or Square on a credit card. You CAN still talk to a lawyer–I can Facetime/etc with you. Or you can email.
The point here is this: Don’t feel like you’re stuck in a situation that you don’t want to be in because you don’t have access to any legal counsel. I’m available virtually by appointment (which you can make by emailing me–see my About tab at the top of this page). Or you can just email if you have a specific question. A lot of your FAQ’s are already answered on my blog here…just go to the “search” box at the top right of the page, and type in a keyword you need info on, and everything I’ve written about that topic will come up. Hell, if push came to shove, the courts are still open, and I can e-file any case documents for a legal case I’m working on, without having to leave my home office. (I actually HAVE completed entire cases without ever traveling to a courthouse.)
So keep that in mind. Don’t panic. It may be the End of the World as We Know It, but You Can Still Feel Fine ;).
Back to School!
I’ve been divorced over 14 years now. My baby was 2 when I stopped living with him; my ex moved away from where I’d lived with my kids, into different school boundaries, 3 or 4 years later. My children went from going to schools where the staff knew me, and knew who I was, to schools that didn’t know my ex was even divorced.
What difference does that make anyway? Well, for starters, there are all these forms that parents fill out at our annual school registrations/Back to School nights, or when they register kids in a new school for the first time. Included in the information a parent provides is the name/identity of both parents. Divorced parents typically have to provide evidence that they have physical custody of kids, and that the parent is entitled to enroll the kids in that school.
But what if the district doesn’t KNOW the parents are divorced? What if the custodial parent represents to the school that a step parent is a legal guardian/legal parent/The Mom (specifically in our culture with how we give kids dad’s last name), and doesn’t mention the other legal parent at all? The school likely will not know that there IS another parent who is entitled to information about the kids, or to pick the kids up at school, or Any of That.
Let me just tell you right now, up front, before school registration stuff has happened, how to avoid a fight and be a Decent Human who co-parents appropriately:
- Do not list your new spouse as the other Parent on the registration forms. Unless your new spouse has legally adopted your children, they are NOT a legal “parent” such that they are entitled to be listed as a Parent. They can be listed as an emergency contact, as an Other individual who can get information about the kids, but they are not the Parent.
To break that down into super-understandable language: “Mom” on the form is the Mom who was the Mom listed in the divorce; “Dad” on the form is the Dad who was the Dad listed in the divorce. That’s who you put in those spaces on the registration form. Period.
This is ESPECIALLY true if the other parent has joint legal custody of your child(ren). “Joint legal custody” means that even if the kids don’t live full time with that parent, that parent is STILL a legal guardian, entitled to information about the kids from the school, the doctor, the church, whatever, without having to go through you. - As the super intuitive follow up to #1, DO list your ex spouse as the other Parent on the form when you’re filling it out. Put their name, address, email, phone number, all of it. This way the school is aware of who they are, and can provide that parent information directly (in the case of shared legal custody), rather than going through you, when asked for it.
- Provide the school with a copy of your custody order that shows who has legal and physical custody of your kids.
- If you have sole legal AND physical custody of your children, STILL put the other parent in the “dad” or “mom” spot on the form, but make note that the other parent is not entitled to info, etc., without your permission… and provide a copy of your custody Order to back up that assertion. You can then put the step parent in the space of Other contact, as someone who can pick up the kids at school, get info from the school, etc., on your behalf. You are doing this because even if you have sole legal custody of your kids, your new spouse is NOT a legal guardian of those children. You can delegate these types of parenting duties, depending on your state/jurisdiction, but simply marrying a Dad doesn’t make you The Mom, and vice versa.
And there you have it–how to be a Good Co-Parent, and not get in a fight on the first day of school (or after, when it’s found out that you did something creepy, mean, and underhanded to your ex, that’s NOT in the best interest of your kids).
If you are the non-custodial (or less than sole custodian) of your kids, and if your ex is a SHITTY co-parent, and refuses to provide the school with your name and status as a parent, this is what can be done to remedy the situation:
- Go to the school office during school hours. Ask to speak with the principal or a school counselor. (Pro-tip: Call ahead and make an appointment so they’ll be there, ready to talk to you, when you show up.)
- You will bring with you: A copy of your court-signed custody order showing you have joint custody of some sort; your drivers license; your children’s birth certificates; AND if you’ve changed your name, you should also bring a copy of YOUR birth certificate, AND a certified copy of your court order for your legal name change.
- Explain to the principal or counselor that you are a legal guardian of your children, and request that they provide information to you as needed to help you support and parent your children. You’ll provide them with copies of all the documents you brought so they can keep those in the kid’s file(s) at school and know going forward how your situation works.
Repeat this process at every school any of your children attend–the elementary, the junior high/middle school, the high school. The schools don’t necessarily communicate amongst themselves, even in the same school district, and as long as you’ve already got everything collected in one place for the process (and probably already took time off work, etc), you might as well get it done all at once. Besides that, then the school administrators have met you in person, they know you’re on the up and up, and they will be more likely to help you help your kids in the future.
And this is the part where I IMPLORE PARENTS TO BE GOOD CO-PARENTS AND NOT JERK AROUND THE OTHER PARENT JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE A JERK. My kids have had a stepmother for 14 of the 14 1/2 years I’ve been divorced. I totally get how the dynamics of a blended family work, and how divorced parents interact. Your children are better off with ALL of their parents–legal and step–working together. Don’t cut out the other legal parent for the sake of your own ego, or because you don’t think they’re important. They are… Just ask your kids.
Child Support: How it’s Calculated (Utah Specific)
Child support calculation can be a bit of a mystery to those who haven’t had to deal with it before. And honestly, that means just about anyone who’s not had a family case. In Utah–and LET ME BE TOTALLY CLEAR ON THIS: I’M JUST TALKING ABOUT UTAH–the income numbers used are whatever your gross income is on a 40 hour a week job, if you’re a W-2 employee. The gross income number is different if you’re self-employed, so we’ll get to that in a different post.
The Office of Recovery Services has included a child support calculator on its website, which you can find here. This is what the calculator on the website looks like:
You input the names of the parents, the number of kids, the number of overnights (if you’re doing a joint physical custody plan), income of the parents, push the button, and TaDa, you have a child support worksheet printed out that you can file with your documents, like this:
And now the details:
Your income that you input is for one months’ worth of one 40-hour per week job, UNLESS you have ALWAYS worked overtime or ALWAYS get a big bonus at the end of the year.
- If you’re a normal, 9 to 5 worker, who doesn’t get bonuses/work overtime/have pay variations, you take the number of paydays you have per year, multiply the gross amount from ONE pay period by that many paydays, divide it by 12, and that’s your monthly income. For example: Say I gross $1000 per paycheck. I get paid every other week–which comes out to 26 paychecks per year. My total yearly gross income is $26,000.00. Divide that total amount by 12 months in a year, and my gross monthly income that I’d put in for myself on the child support calculator is $2,167 (we round to the nearest dollar, which in this case means rounding Up.)
- OR, take your hourly rate, multiply that by 40, multiply that by 52, divide by 12, and that’s your monthly income. For example: $12/hr x 40 (hours per week)=$480/per week, x 52(weeks)=$24,960(per year) / 12(months)=$2,080/month.
- If you get paid once a month, you use the amount of your gross income for one month, so long as there aren’t any big variations month to month on your income. If there are, add up the 12 gross amounts of those paychecks, divide by 12, and that’s your monthly income.
- If you get paid twice monthly without pay variations, add up all of them for the year (all 24) and divide by 12. That factors in the shorter month of February, but spreads that shorter month’s pay out over the year.
- If you’re one of those people who get bonuses every year, you’ll need to use your gross income tax that’s reported on your yearly tax return. You’ll divide that number by 12, and that’s your monthly gross income.
You do the same for the other party. That’s their gross monthly income that you input into the child support calculator.
If one parent has not been regularly employed, or has not been employed full-time outside the home (as in the case of a stay-at-home parent), the court will “impute” that parent at a minimum wage income. That means that the court assumes that unless you are permanently disabled either mentally or physically, a stay at home parent could conceivably at least work at a minimum wage job. Whether that’s realistic or not is something you might end up arguing in court, but minimum wage is the standard for a parent who hasn’t previously worked. The UNLESS, here, is Unless that unemployed parent had been employed prior to being married, or had received special training or education at some point prior to or during the marriage, and could theoretically find work at a rate higher than minimum wage with that skill set.
Minimum wage is roughly $1,257.00 per month gross (rounding up, per U.C.A. 78B-12-205(8), though it doesn’t make any difference in the child support amounts to round up minimum wage–we’re just going for consistency here.)
In our sample worksheet picture, above, you see that child support calculation takes into account BOTH parents’ incomes. (Our sample puts Mom at minimum wage, and Dad is set at a roughly $26 per hr wage. ) The monthly incomes are added together, the state’s algorithm is applied to determine how much of that total would theoretically be spent to support children if the parents were together, and then each party’s percent contributed to the total is determined. Each parent is responsible for their portion of this total amount in child support–which means that the parent that the children do NOT live with full time pays their portion (in this example, $992.00) to the other parent, who doesn’t actually pay anything out to anyone else (unless you count the landlord, the power company, school lunch, etc.)
That’s the basic child support calculation. There are other circumstances that the calculator takes into account, however–joint physical custody, for example. Or split custody (each parent has at least one child living full time with them), or if one of the parties already has a prior court order requiring them to pay child support or alimony to another person. Or if a parent has other children at home that they’re supporting. Those circumstances will reduce the amount of income a parent is required to put into the “pot”, so to speak, of what the total income amounts are that are considered for the current child support order. For example:
If you look at 2d in the picture above, you see a number that Mom’s income is being reduced by as a result of her having 1 child in her household that she’s supporting that’s not part of the child support order we’re working through. You can run that calculator with the parent being single, or the parent being remarried. If the parent is remarried, then the current spouse’s income is taken into account to determine how much the parent would be “paying” in child support to take care of the kids in the parent’s current household–something of a legal fiction there, since Mom in this example isn’t actually “paying” anything. The point is to not take away from kids living in Mom’s household (or Dad’s, as the case may be).
If you have a straight up custodial/non-custodial parent time situation, you don’t need to enter the number of overnights. If you have parents in a joint physical custody situation, however, you do need to. It changes the child support numbers–not always by a lot, but it does make a difference. Joint physical custody is any parent time schedule that has one parent having at least 111 overnights–the other parent would then have 254, as we’re looking at overnights in an average year (no, we’re not counting Leap Year overnights). The new joint physical custody parent time statute, UCA 30-3-35.1, puts the parents at 145 and 220 overnights, respectively. Using our same income amounts and plugging the overnights into the calculator, we get this:
Go ahead and run numbers yourself. You can play with the split custody, overnights, income amounts, other kids in the house, etc…..there are a lot of variations in people’s different circumstances, and the calculator does a pretty good job with keeping up with those circumstances and making it easier to determine what child support will be.
Child support is not like alimony–there IS a number that applies to your situation, and it’s NOT generally negotiable…at least insofar as the court is concerned. But there are legitimate variables, so make sure that you’re running the right calculator for your situation.
Website Translation Tool!!!
So, it’s not a super pretty tool, but it’s pretty effective. I found a website translation tool, so if you know someone who does not speak English, but could use the info on my blog, point them to this new link. I’ve added it to My Links on the right side of this page, like so:
The link is right there, highlighted and circled in the pic, in the My Links section down the right side of the page.
Click on the link, copy and paste the web address into the first field, select your language, click OK, and Voila! My page in Spanish. Or Bulgarian. Or any of a few dozen languages. I have no idea how good the translations are, but something’s better than nothing, no? Here’s hoping…
…and it’s That Time of Year again
For whatever holidays you celebrate this winter…Have a Happy one.
I post every year about the holidays and parent time, and though I’ve said it before, I’m gonna say it again: Please, for the sake of your own peace and sanity and that of your children, behave yourself during the holiday parent time designations and exchanges. It takes little more than putting yourself in the place of your child to see why this is important. And think back to your own childhood–was it a good one? Was it bad? And WHY? Do you remember the holidays being a wonderful, exciting time that you got to spend with family? Or do you remember your parents jerking you around while they tried to “get back at” each other? What kind of holiday season do you want for YOUR children?
I had a really wonderful childhood. My parents are still married; they like each other, even. And they really love us kids. We could feel it. Even when we were dirt poor, the holidays always felt special and magical and Safe. And Peaceful. My children have not had the benefit of having parents who are not divorced, but they HAVE had the benefit of parents who have NOT used them as pawns to get back at each other for real or perceived offenses, particularly during the holidays. Because I DO want my kids to have had a great childhood, my and their father’s decisions not withstanding.
Your children did not choose your divorce. Please don’t make them pay for it, especially at this time of the year.
(For the holiday parent time schedule in Utah, see my blog post with it spelled out, or UCA 30-3-35.)
Right of First Refusal in Childcare
If you’re trying to look this up in the Utah state statutes with this term, you won’t find it. “Right of first refusal in childcare” (commonly shortened to ROFR when lawyers start talking in writing about it) stands for the proposition that it’s better for a child to spend time with the other parent than with a babysitter. It IS in statute, however, if you know where to look. At UCA 30-3-33(15), the Advisory Guidelines, it says: “Parental care shall be presumed to be better care for the child than surrogate care and the court shall encourage the parties to cooperate in allowing the noncustodial parent, if willing and able to transport the children, to provide the child care.”
It takes time to teach…
So let’s break that down.
First: parental care is better than surrogate care. So who is a surrogate? Anyone who is NOT a parent is a surrogate. That means stepparents, grandma, aunts, uncles, a babysitter, a friend…ANYONE who isn’t mom or dad.
Second: the noncustodial parent–this is whichever parent is not the one who has physical custody of the kids at the time the care is needed. That means that even if the parties have joint physical custody of a child, if it’s NOT mom’s time to have the kid, and dad needs someone to take care of him/her, Mom is the noncustodial parent in this situation, and she should be given the option FIRST of taking care of the child. FIRST, as in, call her first before you talk to the babysitter, grandma, or stepmom about watching the child for that period of time. If she can’t care for the child at that time, for whatever reason, then dad would go to someone else to see if they can help with childcare for that time period.
Third: “if willing and able to transport the children..” In the above example, if Mom wants to have the child while Dad is otherwise occupied, she’s got to provide the transportation–the pick up and drop off. If she can’t, Dad’s not obligated to use Mom for childcare on that occasion.
That’s the statute. How does that translate in YOUR custody order? Well, your custody order may have other factors included, like ROFR only applies if the custodial parent will be away from the child for x amount of hours, commonly like 3 or 4. Or ROFR will NEVER apply, for whatever reason–maybe because the parties don’t get along and any time they interact there’s conflict that bleeds over onto the kids, or because you live too far away from the other parent to make it practical to use. Or because there have been issues of abuse. Or because the other parent can only have the kids while they’re supervised, and there’s no supervisor available on short notice. There are definitely reasons to NOT have ROFR included in your Order, but if it’s not specifically excluded, the statute applies–even if it’s not mentioned anywhere at all in the custody order.
…if there’s no time, the life skills teaching can’t happen.
The goal with right of first refusal if for both parents to have the opportunity to spend as much time as possible with their kids. Kids need BOTH parents, and having that extra time with Mom or Dad is important for building that parent/child relationship. Being a good parent means encouraging that relationship. So make sure you’re doing what you can in your own custody order to help your kids that way. Right of First Refusal, those words, aren’t anywhere in the statute. But they very well should be in your own parenting philosophy and practice.
Termination of Parental Rights & Guardianship: How & Why
I had opportunity to volunteer last night at a free legal clinic. The beauty of volunteering is that not only do I get to help people, but I also find out where my knowledge of my claimed “specialty” in the law is limited, and then I have something to research to bolster that knowledge. It’s a win-win.
Last night I consulted with a woman on guardianship of a child. Her circumstances are such that she’s in a temporary guardianship situation, but because the child’s mother is not making any efforts to become a fit parent, and there is a constant underlying threat that mom is just going to swoop in and try and take the child home with her to “be the mom”, the woman expressed an interest in a more permanent arrangement. We discussed a few different options, including filing a petition to terminate mom’s rights and then filing for adoption of the child, and a permanent guardianship.
Hopefully this is NOT this kid’s parent…
I am familiar with the statute regarding termination of parental rights, and I’ve read a good chunk of caselaw recently about termination of parental rights, but I could not for the life of me find the statute last night when I was talking to this woman (it’s a little tricky to pull/find/read on a 4 inch iPhone screen, btw.) SO. Today I found it, on a desktop computer. Statute that governs parental rights termination is located at Utah Code Title 78A Chapter 6 Part 5. Any interested party, including a foster parent, can file a petition to terminate rights of a parent (UCA 78A-6-504). Grounds for termination are located at UCA 78A-6-507. You’ll note that only ONE of those grounds have to be shown/proven to terminate rights, which include abandonment of the child. A parent can be found to have abandoned their child if they’ve only had “token” contact or communication with a child. So if mom hasn’t seen a kid in 2 years, and then suddenly shows up and takes him to McD’s, or sends a card with $5 in it, that doesn’t constitute enough contact or support to prevent a court from finding that the parent has abandoned the child.
The statute spells out what needs to be in the petition to terminate, and also states what the process is (serving the parent, timeframes for having a hearing, etc.) at UCA 78A-6-504 and -505. While I’m not finding any forms for terminating someone else’s parental rights (NOT voluntary relinquishment of rights–those forms and information are here), the statute is specific enough that one should be able to put together their own petition and get service of process done without them (or with some limited consulting with an attorney.)
Like I said, I’ve read a raft of caselaw recently regarding the process of terminating someone’s parental rights (here are just a few examples: In re K.W., In re A.J., and In re B.A.). A parent is entitled to a court appointed/state paid for attorney in termination proceedings if they can’t afford to hire a lawyer, but the parent is not required to have a lawyer–meaning, if the parent is offered but refuses counsel, they can’t come back later and say they were deprived of due process. And the courts really do only require the showing of ONE of the statute’s grounds for termination. ONE. Though quite frankly, all the cases I’ve read where the appellate court affirmed the juvenile court’s decision to terminate rights have had a bucketload of grounds that more than justified termination. All that said, the court MUST put into findings of fact actual facts that support the court’s decision to terminate rights….and they can’t be terminated just because a parent doesn’t strictly comply with a DCFS family plan. (For an example/more explanation, see the court case In Re E.A., from May of 2018.)
The whole point behind a parent having rights to their child removed is for the welfare of the child. This is not something to take lightly, but if you’re looking at a situation where a parent is NOT getting their act together, is consistently behaving in ways that make them an unfit parent (see the statute for what those ways legally are), and this behavior is threatening the ongoing stability of their child, terminating rights may be the best thing to do for the sake of that child. Terminating parental rights opens up the child for adoption (which you’d file at the same time as the petition to terminate rights, just to cover your bases–but that’s another blog post.) Adoption generally equals stability, and the chance to grow up better adjusted and more normally. Best interests of the child are key here.
Because family isn’t just about blood…it’s about people who care about each other.
Terminating parental rights is not the only way to get a child in a more secure situation, for the record. I also discussed with the woman last night the possibility of getting a permanent guardianship in place. This is more of a middle ground solution–it’s not legally Permanent–it CAN be undone at some point. When a parent’s rights are terminated, it IS permanent. Even if they voluntarily relinquish their rights. There are no “I changed my mind” options. Guardianship leaves open a way for a parent to get their situation under control, get stable, and eventually, possibly, get their kid back. The Utah Courts website has a lot of info on getting a guardianship put in place, including forms. Have a look-see.
To the woman I spoke with last night: Good on you for caring enough to even look into this. Legal actions are never convenient, and rarely pleasant, but you CAN do what needs to be done to make sure the child you’re caring for is in a stable place. I wish you the best.
Protective Orders: What They’re NOT for
While I’m not in private practice anymore, I do take the occasional one-off type thing: those cases that will have a one time court appearance or are strictly consulting, or are basic estate planning–that sort of thing. Today I had a hearing defending a client in a motion for a permanent protective order.
I truly believe in protective orders. When they are needed, one should ABSOLUTELY get one. That said, I ALSO feel strongly that protective orders should not be abused. If one is simply trying to control another person, or force a custody order, or simply to “get back” at another person for some perceived slight, getting a protective order is absolutely inappropriate. Personally, I think people who get ex parte protective orders for the wrong reasons should have to pay the other person’s costs and attorneys fees when the motion and temporary PO are dismissed. And maybe have some sort of sanction thrown at them by the court, like being ordered to do community service.
My client this morning who I was defending was in a situation where the protective order was being used as a tool to try and control and manipulate him. The Petitioner in this case, his baby mama, was not in need of protection by the court. They’re not even Utah residents–they’ve both been living in California up until she took off and came back to Utah, taking their tiny baby daughter with her. He filed for custody in California a week or so after she left, when it became apparent that she couldn’t be trusted to allow him contact with his child. And 3 weeks later, after dodging–but finally being served– with the California court papers, Baby Mama filed for a protective order.
Long story short, I won this one. The protective order motion was denied, and the ex parte/temporary order was dismissed. The reason I won is because my client was excellent at documenting stuff–he saved all the texts, emails, and Facebook messages the two had exchanged. And he was totally upfront with his less-than-perfect behaviors. He had also not been abusive to her–in fact, SHE had assaulted HIM; SHE had been the one threatening HIM. And in the end, we were able to prove that Baby Mama did not meet the requirements to get a protective order against my client.
Gifts from my client :). He was very grateful, and very nice. The best kind of client to have.
I like to win. A lot. And when that win can knock down what I see as abuse of protective orders, and protect a person from losing constitutional rights in a quasi-criminal action, all the better. I hate people who cry wolf. They truly degrade the value of the protective order, which hurts everyone out there who honest to God needs one.
PTA Mom to Lady Lawyer 