A Change is as Good as a Break

I must be a Change Magnet, though I can’t complain (much). Most of the changes I’ve experienced in the last decade or two have moved me forward in a positive path. Some have made me want to jump off the path and travel paths no more. But my current Change is just straight up Wonderful.

I had opened up my own solo practice here in Wyoming, but again, I was solid family law. I do have a great love for people who are going through their own family law experiences, and I do love to help. But as I might have mentioned before, family law is HARD. It’s emotionally exhausting, it’s painful, and it never seems to end. Best one can hope for at the end is that they’re not too beaten up to start again, and that their kids are still healthy and happy. I know that law, and those people, and their pain. I have lived it myself. So having options other than just family law have always been on my radar.

And just when I thought I would be doomed to be a solo forever, I saw an ad in the Jackson Hole News. It was for an associate attorney, at Lubing, Gregory & Rectanus, LLC. They’re a law firm in Jackson, they do very little family law, and they liked me (They REALLY LIKED ME!!!) enough to hire me.

LGR is legal utopia for me. I still have some family cases (though I’m taking new ones on a very limited basis), but I get to learn about other areas of the law as well. This is a very good thing for one such as I being a new-to-Wyoming lawyer. And they also have cases in Idaho, soooo since I’m also a fresh Idaho lawyer, I’ll learn that law as well while I work on cases with the partners.

These are good people. The entire staff–partners, associates, office managers, legal assistants–feel like a family. And having moved to Star Valley, Wyoming, and joining a Jackson Hole law firm, I think I *might* have Arrived. I want to stay with LGR until I die (or retire, whichever comes first). And I have a new Life Theme Song. Have a listen ;).

…from 2020: The Lost Year

Is it just me, or does everyone feel like we somehow lost a year? I find myself looking back, thinking about different events, and thinking “this happened last year.” But it didn’t. Whatever Thing I’m trying to place in time happened in 2019, BP (Before Plague). The Plague and the political and social climate here in the US brought out the best–and worst–in people. What have we learned, as a society, as a country, during the Lost Year Called 2020?

Here’s what I learned:

I like working from home. My anxiety and stress levels plummet when working from home, because I don’t feel like I’m being pulled apart by Family and Work interests. I can work all day, taking breaks to do the dishes or start the wash, reviewing contracts from my porch couch, while listening to the sounds of bugs, birds, and the breeze. My brain can focus on work, then switch to home, then to work, almost seamlessly. Women CAN have it all, but it’s best Had working from home.

I have stronger convictions about the marginalized and working poor and how politics and society affect them. According to my family, I’m a liberal. Whatever. I call myself a Pragmatic Christian, though the Christian label is just to sum up the teachings of Christ from the Bible. It could just as well be Pragmatic Buddhism, or Pragmatic Islam, or Hindu, or (name a world religion that teaches love for all)–that’s what I am.

Reading the whole article matters. A lot. There have been so many inflammatory headlines flying around out there, on “news” websites, Facebook, Huffpost, you name it. I am best served if I research an issue, check out the sides of it worth checking out (and no, the lady who thinks Washington DC is full of lizard people, and that women’s health issues are caused by sex with demons, is NOT a source worth wasting my time on), and make up my own mind, without the yammering of conflicting opinions and biases.

Fact check. Fact check, fact check, fact check. And bring your documentation before you start telling me something that you saw that a friend of yours on Facebook posted from the friend of another friend, who is the cousin, of someone who Knows. I’m not interested. I’m gonna Google whatever you told me. And I’ll set you straight. Nobody likes being set straight by a middle-aged, greying, white woman lawyer. Save yourself the pain ;).

And I really DO want world peace. (view from my porch, moonrise June 5, 2020.)

Mental Illness and Working on a “Broken” Brain.

I haven’t posted for a very long time. And it’s not for lack of ideas for blog posts. I’ve actually got a sticky note attached to my computer with a couple of awesome ideas…I just haven’t had the capacity to put words together. Or maybe I just couldn’t muster the massive amount of energy it takes to put words together.

I’ve written before about my anxiety and depression. The last few months it’s gotten really bad–worse than it was when I closed my law practice just about 5 years ago now. But a lawyer can’t just drop out of life and crawl into a hole and sleep, even when that feels like the best possible solution (I’ve got BILLS, ya’ll). Especially when that lawyer has a regular 9-5 corporate gig. So I decided I needed to be proactive and get on top of it. Back in October I went to my primary medical care provider and discussed options, but had also looked into TMS therapy. At my appointment with my primary care, we decided I’d bump up the dosage on my anti anxiety maintenance medication, and bump up the dosage on the benzo I was taking as needed when I’m in a bad place, but hold off on trying another antidepressant. I wanted to wait and see what happened with TMS.

TMS stands for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. You can read more about it here: https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/transcranial-magnetic-stimulation/about/pac-20384625. It’s not necessarily covered by insurance. There was some hoop jumping to get my insurance to cover it, but they did end up doing so on a one-off basis. My treatment protocol is 20-30 minutes at a time; I’ve been going during my lunch hour at work, every weekday less holidays, since the beginning of December. The clinic I’ve been doing it through shows excellent results in most people. Like, 86% respond favorably, 66% go into complete remission of their depressive symptoms.

Hell on Earth, actually.

Sadly, my depression is really secondary to my anxiety and panic disorders…and TMS is less effective for people like me. In my case, I’m in that 14% that it’s not been effective for at all, and I only have 5 treatments left out of 36. However, going through TMS DID put me under the care of an awesome psychiatrist I wouldn’t have gotten into otherwise. I started new medications (there actually ARE meds I hadn’t tried before!!) just over a week ago. And thankfully, the new anxiety med has completely knocked my anxiety down. Which means that my depression is now manifesting more than the anxiety, because it takes at least a month for antidepressants to reach therapeutic levels in the brain.

So now I feel like Nothing. Flat. I have little to no interest in anything, and I’m exhausted. But after being in a state of near constant panic for the past 4 months, it’s kind of a relief to have my brain not revved in fear 24 hours a day. Because that’s what anxiety feels like to me–my brain is in a continuous state of dread, worry, panic, and stress, like I’m hanging on by my fingernails, and constantly on the verge of tears. I don’t sleep well, and when I do sleep, I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason at all and can’t go back to sleep, or because I’m having horribly graphic violent nightmares that have scared me awake and then I can’t go back to sleep. To say it’s exhausting and distressing is an understatement similar to those warning signs that say “Warning: 900 degrees Fahrenheit is Hot. It will burn you.” Duh.

I was thinking about this this morning and remembered an incident from way back in the day, when my Grandpa Tanner was still alive, but was in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s disease. He’d fallen and broken his hip, but kept trying to get out of bed. Alzheimer’s causes its sufferers to “time travel,” if you will, and hallucinate that they are living at some time in their past. My grandpa regressed to his younger years when he was a cowboy in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, and had to go feed and herd cows. He kept trying to get out of bed because, in his mind, he needed to go to work. The nurses didn’t know what to do with him, so they called my folks to help. My dad was talking to him, trying to convince him he needed to stay in bed with his broken hip. Finally, Daddy said to Grandpa, “Dad, you wouldn’t make a horse work on a broken leg, wouldja?” And Grandpa thought about it for a beat and said, “No. I wouldn’t.” And he calmed down, and quit trying to get out of bed.

That’s my Grandpa Tanner, second from the right, back in the day.

And so it is with those of us with broken minds–because mental illness IS all in my head, just like asthma is all is the lungs, and scoliosis is all in the spine. I have a chemical imbalance. I likely always will. I’m going to be realistic about what I can do, and do all that I can, but not beat myself up over what I can’t do but think I “should” (terrible word, that “Should”). I’m going to treat my mental illnesses, and stay on top of them, but stop expecting myself to “work on a broken leg”…because even an old cowboy will tell you that you don’t work anyone on a broken leg. You gotta get that thing healed.

I can be taught.

Scars

Barely visible now, but it sure hurt when I got it at 12…

**I owe the idea for this blog post to another “quintessential mom” I had the privilege of talking to this past week. Thanks for giving me new things to think about ;).

I got thinking about scars a few days ago. I have a few…There’s one on my right shin that I got sticking up for my little sister–the boys who had thrown her bike into the ditch pushed me in on top of it when I went in after it, cutting my shin on the fender. Another one on my right thigh is from a dog bite when I was 7 or 8. I have the faintest ever scar on my left arm, up high, from a smallpox vaccine I got when I was a baby, before my family moved to the Philippines where my dad was stationed in the Air Force. Smallpox is a live vaccine; I got one pock as a result of that. I always thought it looked kind of like a flower.

This one, from a mandolin slicer, is just a faint line with stitch marks now.

I have scars from bug bites that I had bad allergic reactions to, and a scar on my face from a staph infection that developed in what I thought was just a monster zit. It ended up having to be cut open and drained repeatedly for over a week. My hands are a map of scars, from things like cat scratches, or scrapes you get in the course of living life. And my stomach is a ridiculous mess of stretch marks–scars I got from having my first pregnancy be with twins at 22.

My twins ended up with permanent scars themselves–the older one had surgery on his skull at 6 months to open up the prematurely fused growth plate on the back right side of his head. That’s quite the scar, going from ear to ear, in a bit of an S-shape. His younger twin brother had surgery on his spine at 17; that’s a helluva scar, running from the base of his neck, almost to his waist.

Scars from surgery, as well as horizontal scars/stretchmarks that evidence the underlying issue surgery corrected.

My twins’ scars will NEVER go away, unlike some of mine. I was in a car accident at 15, and split my forehead open in a couple of places. You’d never tell by looking at me at this point, though, because as I grew, those scars grew with me, and are now somewhere up above my hairline. The passage of time Healed me of those scars, like it’s faded some of my other scars.

But these that I’ve mentioned are just physical scars. There are other types of scars that last a lot longer–emotional scars. The loss of dear ones can permanently scar those left behind. Anything that cuts into our souls and hearts can, and often does, leave a scar that may never fade.

The beanie and all this hippy hair hides my son’s ear to ear skull scar.

It’s September again. I hate September, and it’s because of the emotional scars I’ve incurred through about 15 years worth of Septembers. Hard, painful, life-changing things seem to happen in September for me, scarring me physically AND emotionally.

Saturday morning I opened up Instagram, and the first post on my feed was about the LOTOJA race. LOTOJA is a 3 state, 206 mile, one day bike race, that starts in Logan, Utah, runs through Idaho, and ends in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Fifteen years ago, in September, I rode that ride with 4 of my best friends. It was the culmination of a year’s worth of training, and it was one of the best days of my life, even while it was crazy hard. And the next day, my biking was over, and my sanity went into a tailspin. It was the beginning of the end of my marriage; I was divorced by the end of March 2005.

You can read other of my blog posts to find out how my divorce went for me. Suffice it to say, the emotional scars are still with me. Even after all these years, those pains are still very real, very raw–hardly healed at all, it seems. Every year when the LOTOJA comes around again, I am reminded of that scar. The bruise is still there; it still hurts to touch. That was one of the really crucial things I learned in law school working with victims of domestic abuse–the physical pains, the physical scars, they healed faster than the mental and emotional ones. Those ones linger; they stick with the victims. The hurts are deep, and the scars are permanent.

I participate in a free legal clinic at CAPSA, our local domestic violence shelter. I consulted with a woman at my last clinic who reminded me how little so much of my emotional scarring has healed. Her divorce is scarcely final; mine was final 14 years, 5 months ago. Mine still hurts like hell. So I cried with her. Big, ugly painful tears. Maybe someday those emotional scars will have grown up, out of sight, like some of my physical scars have.

I can only hope.

Back to School!

Who are YOU hoping not to get in a fight with??

I’ve been divorced over 14 years now. My baby was 2 when I stopped living with him; my ex moved away from where I’d lived with my kids, into different school boundaries, 3 or 4 years later. My children went from going to schools where the staff knew me, and knew who I was, to schools that didn’t know my ex was even divorced.

What difference does that make anyway? Well, for starters, there are all these forms that parents fill out at our annual school registrations/Back to School nights, or when they register kids in a new school for the first time. Included in the information a parent provides is the name/identity of both parents. Divorced parents typically have to provide evidence that they have physical custody of kids, and that the parent is entitled to enroll the kids in that school.

But what if the district doesn’t KNOW the parents are divorced? What if the custodial parent represents to the school that a step parent is a legal guardian/legal parent/The Mom (specifically in our culture with how we give kids dad’s last name), and doesn’t mention the other legal parent at all? The school likely will not know that there IS another parent who is entitled to information about the kids, or to pick the kids up at school, or Any of That.

Tell me junior high isn’t awkward enough already...

Let me just tell you right now, up front, before school registration stuff has happened, how to avoid a fight and be a Decent Human who co-parents appropriately:

1. Do not list your new spouse as the other Parent on the registration forms. Unless your new spouse has legally adopted your children, they are NOT a legal “parent” such that they are entitled to be listed as a Parent. They can be listed as an emergency contact, as an Other individual who can get information about the kids, but they are not the Parent.
   
   To break that down into super-understandable language: “Mom” on the form is the Mom who was the Mom listed in the divorce; “Dad” on the form is the Dad who was the Dad listed in the divorce. That’s who you put in those spaces on the registration form. Period.
   
   This is ESPECIALLY true if the other parent has joint legal custody of your child(ren). “Joint legal custody” means that even if the kids don’t live full time with that parent, that parent is STILL a legal guardian, entitled to information about the kids from the school, the doctor, the church, whatever, without having to go through you.
   
   
2. As the super intuitive follow up to #1, DO list your ex spouse as the other Parent on the form when you’re filling it out. Put their name, address, email, phone number, all of it. This way the school is aware of who they are, and can provide that parent information directly (in the case of shared legal custody), rather than going through you, when asked for it.
   
   
3. Provide the school with a copy of your custody order that shows who has legal and physical custody of your kids.
   
   
4. If you have sole legal AND physical custody of your children, STILL put the other parent in the “dad” or “mom” spot on the form, but make note that the other parent is not entitled to info, etc., without your permission… and provide a copy of your custody Order to back up that assertion. You can then put the step parent in the space of Other contact, as someone who can pick up the kids at school, get info from the school, etc., on your behalf. You are doing this because even if you have sole legal custody of your kids, your new spouse is NOT a legal guardian of those children. You can delegate these types of parenting duties, depending on your state/jurisdiction, but simply marrying a Dad doesn’t make you The Mom, and vice versa.

And there you have it–how to be a Good Co-Parent, and not get in a fight on the first day of school (or after, when it’s found out that you did something creepy, mean, and underhanded to your ex, that’s NOT in the best interest of your kids).

If you are the non-custodial (or less than sole custodian) of your kids, and if your ex is a SHITTY co-parent, and refuses to provide the school with your name and status as a parent, this is what can be done to remedy the situation:

1. Go to the school office during school hours. Ask to speak with the principal or a school counselor. (Pro-tip: Call ahead and make an appointment so they’ll be there, ready to talk to you, when you show up.)
   
   
2. You will bring with you: A copy of your court-signed custody order showing you have joint custody of some sort; your drivers license; your children’s birth certificates; AND if you’ve changed your name, you should also bring a copy of YOUR birth certificate, AND a certified copy of your court order for your legal name change.
   
   
3. Explain to the principal or counselor that you are a legal guardian of your children, and request that they provide information to you as needed to help you support and parent your children. You’ll provide them with copies of all the documents you brought so they can keep those in the kid’s file(s) at school and know going forward how your situation works.

Repeat this process at every school any of your children attend–the elementary, the junior high/middle school, the high school. The schools don’t necessarily communicate amongst themselves, even in the same school district, and as long as you’ve already got everything collected in one place for the process (and probably already took time off work, etc), you might as well get it done all at once. Besides that, then the school administrators have met you in person, they know you’re on the up and up, and they will be more likely to help you help your kids in the future.

And this is the part where I IMPLORE PARENTS TO BE GOOD CO-PARENTS AND NOT JERK AROUND THE OTHER PARENT JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE A JERK. My kids have had a stepmother for 14 of the 14 1/2 years I’ve been divorced. I totally get how the dynamics of a blended family work, and how divorced parents interact. Your children are better off with ALL of their parents–legal and step–working together. Don’t cut out the other legal parent for the sake of your own ego, or because you don’t think they’re important. They are… Just ask your kids.

Let’s not make it anymore traumatic than it has to be, mmkay?

Getting Your Debt Together: Financial Info in Divorce (& Life)

I’ve done a couple of blog posts on property and debt division in divorce (and marriage), but what if you don’t know what your debts are?  It is not uncommon for one spouse to hide debts from the other, or to get credit in the other spouse’s name.  Depending on the state you’re in, you might be liable for debts your spouse takes on, even if you’re NOT named as a debtor on the obligation. And maybe you don’t have that great of a handle on YOUR outstanding debt.  This would be a great time to get that figured out.

Your #1 best starting place for figuring out your debt is to get copies of your credit reports from all 3 main credit bureaus in the U.S.  These are Experian, Equifax, and Transunion.

The Big 3 in the U.S.

Credit bureaus keep track of your credit history–the good, the bad, and the ugly–as well as names you’ve used, employers you’ve worked for, addresses you’ve lived at, phone numbers you’ve had, etc.  Any agency you’ve ever owed money to (including your cellphone provider, the power company, etc.) can report to a credit bureau how well you did at paying your bill.  Your current debts will show up in your credit report–that’s the important thing for this little exercise you’ll be doing to get your financial info together.

 

You can request your credit report for free from all three credit bureaus once a year.  The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has a button on their website that you can click into and go through the process of getting all 3.  You may be able to download a PDF of your credit report; they may require you to mail in a form to get one or all of them.  I just requested all 3 of mine; 2 of them I downloaded PDFs, and one I had to fill out the form for.  You CAN use one form to get all 3.

This is what the form looks like…see the middle bottom–you can select all three.

Each of the credit bureaus ask different “verifying” questions online to get your credit report.  They’re making sure it’s You asking for it.  Some of the questions are more involved than others (Transunion asked a question that all I could think was “HUH?”, so I marked “none of the above.”  Which turned out to be the right answer.)  These are usually questions about where you’ve worked or if you have or have had a loan with a particular agency at some point.

You should be keeping up with your credit report regardless of whether you’re going through a divorce or not.  That’s how you make sure you’ve not been a victim of identity theft.  And since all kinds of circumstances call for agencies or individuals to pull your credit (like if you’re renting a home/apartment, or trying to buy a car), it’s best to be apprised of what’s there.

There are also apps out there for your smartphone that help you keep up with your credit.  CreditKarma is one; Experian even has an app.  Do a search on your app store for “credit report,” and you’ll see a few different options, some for free, some paid.  I have a credit card app that has the option of getting your credit score as a click button at the bottom of the screen.

If you find errors in your credit report, you can communicate with the credit bureaus to get those corrected.  In my experience, that can be difficult, but you still have to use their process.

So now you know.  There is no excuse NOT to get informed about your credit.  Ignorance is not bliss; get your credit reports and make sure you’re not ignorant about your finances.

 

Websites for the three big credit bureaus are here:

https://www.experian.com/

https://www.equifax.com/personal/

https://www.transunion.com/

Today.

Today I’m tired.  I’ve been tired all week.  My grandma died March 15th (The Ides!), and her funeral was last Saturday.  And it was really a wonderful thing.  I got to see family I haven’t seen in years; 24 of the 26 grandkids (my siblings and cousins) were there for the funeral, and it was so good to have all of them around again.  The stories about her…I had no idea what an awesome young person she had been!  Grandma loved flowers, and they were everywhere, and gorgeous, in her favorite colors.  She had a beautiful casket with pink rose cameos on the sides…truly lovely.  My grandma was 93.  She had lived a very long, very full, but often very difficult, life.  It was her turn to go.  She was ready.  And I’m happy for her.

But I’m tired.  The funeral sucked the life right out of me.  I cried more than I thought I had capacity to.  And I’m still crying…but now it might be because my depression has punched me right in the face this week.  I’m on the verge of tears constantly, for no reason.  Except that my brain is Not Right.  I keep doing all the things I have to do–going to work, doing my dishes, feeding my cats, making my bed, doing laundry–I even went to the gym last night–but I mostly just want to sleep this miserable Brain Fog off.

So forgive me my lack of enthusiasm and general malaise.  It’s nothing personal.  And I know it won’t last forever.  But this week, today….My God, it feels like it will never end.

…and it’s That Time of Year again

For whatever holidays you celebrate this winter…Have a Happy one.

I post every year about the holidays and parent time, and though I’ve said it before, I’m gonna say it again:  Please, for the sake of your own peace and sanity and that of your children, behave yourself during the holiday parent time designations and exchanges.  It takes little more than putting yourself in the place of your child to see why this is important.  And think back to your own childhood–was it a good one?  Was it bad?  And WHY?  Do you remember the holidays being a wonderful, exciting time that you got to spend with family?  Or do you remember your parents jerking you around while they tried to “get back at” each other?  What kind of holiday season do you want for YOUR children?

I had a really wonderful childhood.  My parents are still married; they like each other, even.  And they really love us kids.  We could feel it.  Even when we were dirt poor, the holidays always felt special and magical and Safe.  And Peaceful.  My children have not had the benefit of having parents who are not divorced, but they HAVE had the benefit of parents who have NOT used them as pawns to get back at each other for real or perceived offenses, particularly during the holidays.  Because I DO want my kids to have had a great childhood, my and their father’s decisions not withstanding.

Your children did not choose your divorce.  Please don’t make them pay for it, especially at this time of the year.

(For the holiday parent time schedule in Utah, see my blog post with it spelled out, or UCA 30-3-35.)

Right of First Refusal in Childcare

If you’re trying to look this up in the Utah state statutes with this term, you won’t find it.  “Right of first refusal in childcare” (commonly shortened to ROFR when lawyers start talking in writing about it) stands for the proposition that it’s better for a child to spend time with the other parent than with a babysitter.  It IS in statute, however, if you know where to look.  At UCA 30-3-33(15), the Advisory Guidelines, it says: “Parental care shall be presumed to be better care for the child than surrogate care and the court shall encourage the parties to cooperate in allowing the noncustodial parent, if willing and able to transport the children, to provide the child care.”

It takes time to teach…

So let’s break that down.

First:  parental care is better than surrogate care.  So who is a surrogate?  Anyone who is NOT a parent is a surrogate.  That means stepparents, grandma, aunts, uncles, a babysitter, a friend…ANYONE who isn’t mom or dad.

Second: the noncustodial parent–this is whichever parent is not the one who has physical custody of the kids at the time the care is needed.  That means that even if the parties have joint physical custody of a child, if it’s NOT mom’s time to have the kid, and dad needs someone to take care of him/her, Mom is the noncustodial parent in this situation, and she should be given the option FIRST of taking care of the child.  FIRST, as in, call her first before you talk to the babysitter, grandma, or stepmom about watching the child for that period of time.  If she can’t care for the child at that time, for whatever reason, then dad would go to someone else to see if they can help with childcare for that time period.

Third:  “if willing and able to transport the children..”  In the above example, if Mom wants to have the child while Dad is otherwise occupied, she’s got to provide the transportation–the pick up and drop off.  If she can’t, Dad’s not obligated to use Mom for childcare on that occasion.

That’s the statute.  How does that translate in YOUR custody order?  Well, your custody order may have other factors included, like ROFR only applies if the custodial parent will be away from the child for x amount of hours, commonly like 3 or 4.  Or ROFR will NEVER apply, for whatever reason–maybe because the parties don’t get along and any time they interact there’s conflict that bleeds over onto the kids, or because you live too far away from the other parent to make it practical to use.  Or because there have been issues of abuse.  Or because the other parent can only have the kids while they’re supervised, and there’s no supervisor available on short notice.  There are definitely reasons to NOT have ROFR included in your Order, but if it’s not specifically excluded, the statute applies–even if it’s not mentioned anywhere at all in the custody order.

…if there’s no time, the life skills teaching can’t happen.

The goal with right of first refusal if for both parents to have the opportunity to spend as much time as possible with their kids.  Kids need BOTH parents, and having that extra time with Mom or Dad is important for building that parent/child relationship.  Being a good parent means encouraging that relationship.  So make sure you’re doing what you can in your own custody order to help your kids that way.  Right of First Refusal, those words, aren’t anywhere in the statute.  But they very well should be in your own parenting philosophy and practice.

September

It’s beautiful, really…

September has been my least favorite month for a lot of years now.  Bad things, hard things, miserable things, challenging things, depressing-life shifting-exhausting things happen in September. Every September.  For more than a decade.

This September, my middle child left home to serve a religious mission in the Farmington, New Mexico area.  He’ll be gone for the next 2 years.  When he returns, he’ll go straight to the university, out of town.  He’s gone, basically, and will not be Home with me again.

My oldest child, who had been living with me during the month of August, moved out of state–I drove the Yukon hauling the trailer with all (most) of his belongings myself to get him there.  He’s not planning on moving back to Utah any time soon, so this is effectively a permanent move.

My husband has been gone most of the month with work and then elk hunting, which meant these first weeks of going from 4 kids that drop in or live with me constantly to 1 child with me part of the time and the drop-ins dropping off sharply, I’ve been largely on my own.

A dear friend lost his father, quite unexpectedly, and has struggled personally through the month prior to his dad dying–and, obviously, since as well.

My anxiety and depression have been through the roof.

Basically, it’s been a September.

I am thrilled that we are putting this month to rest in a couple of days.  I’ve had enough of it.  I will breathe a sigh of relief when September is Done.

Green Day got it right….